A vision of the future through the pain of the past?

December 12, 2006

Young people don’t give a fuck! Well, technically they do – they give a damn about many things but they dont necessarily have hang-ups about aspects of life that an older generation may have had problems with. I would guess that young people are rebelling from the bondage of the past that kept their parents in slavery and they are walking into a new future. Historically, the morals and values of society were based upon Christian principles. Christianity believes that homosexuality is a sin. Many gay / bi-sexual men moved into marriages and tried to deny their sexuality, for the sake of what they believed was right. Stigma about homosexuality and bisexuality grew so that those who chose to come ‘out’ were percieved as inferior. Ironically, for many gay / bisexual men and women they exchanged who they were in order to live out traditional family values – but was this fake, forced, not real? Today, where do we stand? Young people have exchanged ‘family values’ for community values. There is a hell of a lot of rebellion going on. Young people are turning away from their parents with their traditional family values and they see hypocrisy so they turn to their friends. Young people build bonds with their friends that are deeper than those that they have with their family. With regards to sexuality teenagers are happy to explore, without the Christian morals that state that homosexuality is wrong. In fact, as Christianity loses it’s hold over society I believe that we will see a generation rise who will explore their sexuality without concern and without labelling themselves – homosexual / bisexual / hetrosexual.

A book has been written that looks at some of the development of sexual orientation amongst young people;

The New Gay Teenager Ritch C. Savin-Williams

2005 Distinguished Book Award from the American Psychological Association Division 44

Gay, straight, bisexual: how much does sexual orientation matter to a teenager’s mental health or sense of identity? In this down-to-earth book, filled with the voices of young people speaking for themselves, Ritch Savin-Williams argues that the standard image of gay youth presented by mental health researchers–as depressed, isolated, drug-dependent, even suicidal–may have been exaggerated even twenty years ago, and is far from accurate today.

The New Gay Teenager gives us a refreshing and frequently controversial introduction to confident, competent, upbeat teenagers with same-sex desires, who worry more about the chemistry test or their curfew than they do about their sexuality. What does “gay” mean, when some adolescents who have had sexual encounters with those of their own sex don’t consider themselves gay, when some who consider themselves gay have had sex with the opposite sex, and when many have never had sex at all? What counts as “having sex,” anyway? Teenagers (unlike social science researchers) are not especially interested in neatly categorizing their sexual orientation.

In fact, Savin-Williams learns, teenagers may think a lot about sex, but they don’t think that sexuality is the most important thing about them. And adults, he advises, shouldn’t think so either.

(Source: http://www.hup.harvard.edu/catalog/SAVNEW.html)

In contrast there was the recent story of Church leader, Ted Haggard who was removed from Church leadership because of an encounter with a male prostitute. A second Church leader has now been removed from Church leadership because of male sexual encounters, he has stated that he has struggled with his sexuality since he was 5 years old:

ENGLEWOOD, Colo. — The founding pastor of a second Colorado church has resigned over gay sex allegations, just weeks after the evangelical community was shaken by the scandal surrounding megachurch leader Ted Haggard.

Haggard, a gay-marriage opponent, admitted to unspecified “sexual immorality” when he resigned last month as president of the National Association of Evangelicals and pastor of the 14,000-member New Life Church in Colorado Springs. A male prostitute had said he had had sex with Haggard for three years.

On Sunday, Paul Barnes, founding pastor of the 2,100-member Grace Chapel in this Denver suburb, told his evangelical congregation in a videotaped message he had had sexual relations with other men and was stepping down.

Dave Palmer, associate pastor of Grace Chapel, told The Denver Post that Barnes confessed to him after the church received a call last week.

The church board of elders accepted Barnes’ resignation on Thursday.

On the videotape, which The Post was allowed to view, Barnes told church members: “I have struggled with homosexuality since I was a 5-year-old boy. … I can’t tell you the number of nights I have cried myself to sleep, begging God to take this away.”

Barnes, 54, led Grace Chapel for 28 years. He and his wife have two adult children.

Palmer said in a written statement that “While we cannot condone what he has done, we continue to support and love Paul.” (AP)

Source: (http://www.planetout.com/news/article.html?date=2006/12/11/4&navpath=/news)

This sadens me greatly. Of course we can state how this man was in the wrong, to have a gay affair. We can talk about how his he may have been hypocritical in his preaching and practice. Nevertheless, he felt that he had to repress who he was because of his beliefs and the beliefs of those around him and this is sad.

So, a look at the future? Will young people throw off Christian morals and traditional family values in an exploration towards who they really are? Will Christianity, or religion, survive in such an environemt? Only time will tell. The one thing that I am certain of is that young people are being bold enough to throw off prejudice and judgement and my hope is that this will lead to less pain through failed marriages and disappointment for those who have to look upon the ‘fallen’.

5 Responses to “A vision of the future through the pain of the past?”

  1. Sue George Says:

    I hope so too, Fluid, although I’m not entirely convinced.
    It seems to me that perhaps more young people are able to throw off these values than they had in the past and can explore who they really are. In fact, I wrote on my blog about this yesterday, coincidentally, so perhaps there’s something in the air.
    But there’s two things mitigating against this theory.
    One: young people are always rebelling and it doesn’t last very long for a lot of them. There was a lot of bisexuality about when I was at university in the late 1970s, for instance, but it was short-lived for many people. The peer-pressure in the 80s not to be bisexual, on the other hand, was immense – far worse than it is now. So maybe this time it will last, and maybe it won’t. We shall see.
    Re gay young people not suffering now, I think it depends entirely on where you go to school. Progressive family, progressive part of major city, no problem. Otherwise – could be tricky.
    Two: Christian morals and traditional family values… In the UK, I think we are pretty safe from them. But in the US, well let’s just say I feel very very sorry for all those people not living on the east and west coasts.

    Was my “booklist” helpful at all?


  2. shewalksinbeauty Says:

    Excellent thoughts, Scott.

    I definitely feel bad for the middle of my country. I consider myself fortunate that I am on the west coast where our acceptance is far greater. There is so much to life that I think they miss because of thier closed minds and closed hearts. although that is a generalization, I believe it is true.

    In my opinion, established, organized religion is antiquated on many levels. There are so many reasons to choose another path. I won’t go into that here…

  3. Sue George – thank you for your comments. I love hearing from you because you are always informed. I do hear what your saying in terms of young people always rebelling and yet, at the same time there is something about history that tells us that cycles of change occur that affect the future – think of the sixties, thinks of the plight of slavery etc. Generations can change something and perhaps, just perhaps a rebellion in young people of a nature to do with sexuality could change the path that society takes from here on in.

    Your booklist was helpful. Amazon are enjoying the money from my purchases.

    SWIB – Lol, I want to hear you go there 😉

  4. Artur Says:

    More information, please

  5. Drug Reviews Says:

    Why not? It Simply!

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