I am bisexual and actually, well, I am very proud of the fact.

January 2, 2007

Okay such a title may come as a surprise to you when this is a blog all about fluid sexuality and ‘my world’. Nevertheless, unless you are bisexual or possibly gay I wonder whether you can actually quite understand this dilemma.

You see, somedays guys totally amaze me and I want to make love to a beautiful man. Other days the concept of a guy sticking his penis up ‘the chocolate highway’ (as a friend of mine recently commented on ‘gays’) actually repulses me and I don’t want that. This has been an eternal source of pain and confusion for me.

However, a light has turned on and that light has come in the form of a blogger called ‘puddlejumper’ who commented on my last post;

“My husband is bisexual. He has a theory on the answer to your question as to whether you are “bisexual”

It’s a bit like asking yourself whether you’ve had too much too drink to be able to drive. If you have to ask the question the answer is yes.

You are bisexual. you are attracted to both men and women. Whether you act on it or not is another question and only you can answer that. Whether you can fall in love with a man depends on whether you meet the right man.

Go out there and love people. Whether they are male or female. Open yourself up to the possibilty of love. Take each day as it comes and experience life as fully as you can however that may be. Live each day like it’s your last.”

That is exactly it! I am bisexual. By the very nature of the fact that I am asking that question, I am. However I live out my sexuality is yet to be seen. Nevertheless guys are amazing. Guys fascinate me. The strength of guys. A guys mind. A guys body. Being close to a guy. A guy’s beauty. Seriously, I sit here with tears in my eyes as I think how much the male species just envelopes my mind in a very special way, a way that women do not. Nevertheless, women haze me in a whole different way. I am so humbled to have these feelings for guys and if my feelings for guys could change one particular guys like (whoever that may be) and make him feel like the most important person alive, then I would consider myself, well, blessed.

I read this comment from puddlejumper and the obvious, that is only obvious to everyone else, until something ‘clicks’ became the most obvious thing in the world to me. Men amaze me and thank God that they do. I have always felt second class, like coloured people can be made to feel, like disabled people can be made to feel, even like females can be made to feel. Bisexuality was my disability. Bisexuality is not my disability any more it is my springboard, it is my joy, it is my priviledge.

Puddlejumper, thank you for switching the light on… honoured.

8 Responses to “I am bisexual and actually, well, I am very proud of the fact.”

  1. my-slant Says:

    I recently came across the following definition that I think defines bisexuality quite nicely-

    ‘The potential for being sexually or romantically involved with members of either gender’

    The key word being potential, and also that bisexuality is an orientation and not an act.

  2. JR Says:

    I’ve wondered about being with other men for a very long time and recently I’ve begun to act on my impulses. I’m glad I have because, as much as I adore women, I now see that I have been missing many other equally satisfying experiences.

  3. shewalksinbeauty Says:

    I’m so very proud of you! Self realization is huge, monumental even. Once you accept things about yourself it is much easier to relax and be YOU!

    Happy 2007! I’m looking forward to a great year and I know you will have one too!

    Everyone has been so positive, I hope the momentum carries us all throughout the year…


  4. Hey guys and girl thank you for your comments, it is great to hear from you all. I think I have realised that society likes to define us, tries to define us and then we feel that we are stuck in this glass box that we cant move from. Well, I realised that this box is self-imposed i.e. I am the only one who has limited myself… whey hey… no more limits!

  5. puddlejumper Says:

    Awesome. Really glad I was able to help. I’ll let my hubby know. He reckons it’s a blessing too. It certainly hasn’t done his career any harm being able to flirt with men AND women.

    Best wishes to you.

    Stay proud.

    x

  6. notoriousv Says:

    I really like that analogy. There are so many ways to be bi, gay, or even straight. Going back to Freud… there are 2 ways to categorize your sexuality. Who you’re attracted to, and what kind of sex you like. One doesn’t necessarily say anything about the other. 🙂

  7. Al Says:

    “You see, somedays guys totally amaze me and I want to make love to a beautiful man. Other days the concept of a guy sticking his penis up ‘the chocolate highway’ (as a friend of mine recently commented on ‘gays’) actually repulses me and I don’t want that. This has been an eternal source of pain and confusion for me.”

    I have had this exact same dilemma, probably for years. I could only think of men in that way when I was horny, but thinking of girls was always enjoyable. I would look at gay porn and love it until I climaxed and then suddenly I’d be repulsed by it. Very confusing. But thankfully that doesn’t occur now.

    I don’t think coming out covers the whole process of getting over this dilemma. But what it did do was stop me changing my mind again. It stopped me going backwards and forwards over the same thing thoughts. In the days leading up to coming out I was still feeling that slight disgust occasionally; but I’ve not had it since. Not at all.

    At the moment I feel little to no confusion about my bisexuality (although I know there are things which will confuse me later). It’s just relationships in general that are perplexing me!


  8. Hello Dave

    We are River & Sofia…authors of Bi.S.E.A.N. blog and would like to ask if we can have a link up with your blog.

    Ours is about bisexuality and being Eurasians here in Southeast Asia. Our region comprises 10% of the world population but we don’t have any bi support group at all.

    A link up with your great blog would remind us that we are not alone. We would appreciate a link, if it’s ok with you?

    Thank you and best regards,

    River & Sofia

    http://bisean.blogspot.com


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