Archive for February, 2007

Sexy female knickers.

February 27, 2007

Image this. Sexy women’s lingerie. Short. Pink. Knickers. lacey. curvy ass. close to the body. Real sexy.

Now, imagine those on a guy? Is that picture as still atractive?

I dont know why but I woke up this morning wanting to wear the aforementioned attire. To know what is like to have pink, lacey, knickers, hugging my ass, as you see my abs over the top. This may be strange but, to me, it was fuckin’ horny.

Then I thought more…

Stockings. Suspenders. A baby doll set. Me dressed in the finest and sexiest female clothing.

But that was not the end of the thought….

Me, wearing all this and then a hot lad, a typical rough lad, fucking my ass, whilst I am wearing this, calling out for me to be his slut as he pounds me ass. He is in control. He likes the sexy clothing. It turns him on. He is knows that he is the dominant, I am submissive and he pounds and pounds. He fucks hard. I feel every inch of him as he pounds deeper. I wince. I wince both in pain and pleasure but I long for this stud to go deeper, far deeper. I want all of him. I want to feel his cum deep within me. He races. Faster. Faster. He moans, ‘yes bitch’. I start to groan. His cock is giving me pleasure. He moans out load as he cums deep within me and I long for it to remain there.

That was my thought this morning, I subsequently had a wank and then endured the rest of my business-like day.

Anyone else have exciting fantasies? Tell me. Tell me. Tell me.

The things I could do with a black man!

February 18, 2007

Take a look at this link now:

LINK

I am not being racist in any way whatsoever but, black men turn me on so so much both physically and mentally. God I look at the picture above and go weak at the knees, it is nothing to do with how damn fit his body is or the rumour that black men are hung like a horse and I wouldnt mind riding a big fat cock but, black man are amazing.

I dont know why this is the case, something about black men is just amazing. This will probably be so sterotypical but I love a black man’s mind. I love the intellect of a black man, I love black man who are passionate about their history, who have something to say, and I love the thought of being wrapped in the arms of a black guy. To be a black man’s man. Wow!

I want to write heaps in this blog about black man, I cant, words fail me. All I can say is that I would love to date a black guy and see what happens.

Damn, I need to go and wank!

**EDIT: I have just looked at the picture again and I have just re-read this post and it doesnt do any justice to the way that I feel. Seriously. I dont know what it is, I dont know why it is that I cannot convey how I feel but the thought of being wrapped up in bed with a black guy just totally drives me crazy. The thought of kissing sexy black lips, holding a sexy black body! Any black guys reading this? Give me a shout.. I will be on the next plane, train or automobile ;-)**

**Edit again: Just looked at his picture again. God I would be at him like I would be a child with a wrapped Christmas present. All over him.**

I am not a stranger to God.

February 15, 2007

I get back from a few days of being away, working away the otherside of the Country. I come back and log on in order to see whats going on in my ‘secret space’, fluid sexuality, my blog, see if there are any responses, e-mails or new comments. I check my e-mail and then, all of a sudden, REALLY pissed off.

I had an e-mail off someone, who chose to remain anonymous but was explaining how they have read through my blog and they strongly believe that I need God. How damn rude is that!? I know that, on the one had this could be seen as a caring and compassionate gesture but on the other they have no fucking right. Just the idea that someone has been searching online looking at blogs and then finds mine and decides to e-mail me to tell me that I need God, it makes my blood boil! Or, even worse, what if they were searching the internet purposely to find us poor souls who need God and then they, arrogantly e-mail them all to tell them so.

The deal is that I am not a stranger to God, whether that is a Christian God, Buddhist or the God of the pixies who live at the bottom of my garden I am not sure but the point is that I do believe in ‘something’. I have even been listening to religious songs and well, enjoying them. Every time I have listened to songs or during the times recently that I have prayed I have felt calm, I have felt like this is a part of my life, as well as my sexuality that I am figuring out. I have felt the response from whoever or whatever to be ‘It’s okay, lets take this step by step’. And I am.

I would never pull two friends together who hardly know each other and say… ‘You guys need to spend more time together’ and then basically force them to do this. If they are not compatable then they are not compatable. Friendships grow and if these two friends who hardly know each other chose to spend some time together and their relationship grows and suddenly they are best mates. Awesome. But, allow it to happen naturally.

Whoever sent me that e-mail, I doubt that you will ever come back to this blog again. The chances are you will go back to your little Christian group and explain about the horrors of the ungodly that you have seen on the internet. All I can say is that Jesus spent time with the sinners, the sluts, the whores, the murderers, the drunks, the lowest of the low. From what I read in my bible is that he never forced himself on people but HE encouraged people to come to HIM when he was ready. The alternative was that when people realised that Jesus was real, THEY shouted out to HIM. I don’t recall any account of nosey, busy body, bible bashing religious fanatics getting in the way.

So, in conclusion… FUCK OFF!

Healing the inner man

February 7, 2007

In this blog I often write about blokes, how I feel about them, what they mean to me and sexual encounters that I would like to have with them. Every time I have had a sexual encounter with a bloke, afterwards I have always felt like I didnt really get much out of it. I see blokes as strength and security which is something that I need in my life, however, recently I have been thinking about women.

Here is the deal. When I was younger I was bullied at school, bullied quite badly. I was never good at any sport and so I never played it this naturally left me feeling like I was not in the ‘in crowd’. In my head a division occurred, a them i.e. ‘the boys’ and then ‘me’. This is a huge issue in my head, it is a seriously big deal for me. I probably see myself as a ‘non-entity’. I exist. This was further added when I was in a relationship with a girl who never looked up to me, she never respected me, she never showed her love to me, it was a hard and painful relationship for us both and it ended. This further made me feel inferior as a guy. I didn’t feel that I could be that source of strength, love and protection. I wanted to be the guy that a woman looked up too, wanted to be with, wanted to hold and love ‘her man’. I have never felt like this and so, in a way, I suppose I have looked for it in a guy. I have looked towards a guy being my strength, my love, my support, my anchor, in some way me being the girls role – although I am not camp at all.

Over the past few days I have honestly pined for a woman, for a girl. I have been around some mates who have girlfriends and the way that these girls look up to them and respect them is incredible, the way that these girls want to be with them is awesome and that’s a position that I find myself wanting to be in. It is almost a ‘friends’ type scenario. In fact the lives of the TV programme, ‘Friends’ is the lifestyle that I would love to have all round, mates who hang out together and relationships with girls that are awesome… I know… it is simply a TV programme.

I don’t want to resign myself to never giving myself to a woman because in my own head I have defined myself as being bisexual. In any case, whether it is a relationship with a man or a woman I look back and see how this inferior feeling of being a lower class of male has affected me and I want that to change both for myself and for any relationship that I encounter.

I go to the gym and see people who I see as being ‘blokes’ and I look in awe and wonder and hence the attraction but if I was ever in a sexual situation with them I think I would wonder afterwards why I did it. I think I am more attracted to what I would like to be rather than who I want in bed and I know that I need to start seeing myself, me, as a bloke… sounds confusing.

I am not saying that I am not bisexual but these are thoughts in my head that come together as I look back over my life and I realise that I need to focus on healing the inner man.. whatever the hell that is!

On your knees boy… yes, sir

February 2, 2007

There is something about a master / slave scenario that completely, utterly and foolishly turns me on. In fact, it not only turns me on it literally makes me go wet at the thought.

In this fantasy this is what happens…

I walk into a room, the door is shut beind me. As soon as I walk in and at the sound of the door shut my life is not my own the purpose of my existance is purely to please my master and this is my single aim.

I stand there as my master gropes my penis. I am still fully clothed. He is fondling me. The world is shut out and I am here, completely for his pleasure, completely for his use. After some time of groping my master pulls out his cock. His cock is beautiful to me, his rod is strong, it is mighty and it is a tool which I can use to make my master feel like he is the most important person in my world, in THE world.

My master merely has to pull out his cock and I know what my role is. I drop to my knees and eagerly take his cock in my mouth, all of it. I so desire to have the taste of his cum in my mouth. My master’s cum is like honey, it is precious, it is sweet, it is something I want to taste again and again if only I was fortunate enough to recieve this. I start to take his cock in and out of my mouth, in and out and I hear him moan. The sound of my master moaning makes me go weak at my knees. The very fact that my master moans because of something that I have done to him, for him, is a humbling experience. My master grabs my head and pushes himself deep into me, I feel him going further and further. I feel like I don’t deserve his honour, why should he chose me, why would he allow ME to please HIM. It doesnt seem right. I taste his cock, I feel it going back and forth and I feel as if I am in another world, a moment of ecstacy that no drug could induce. As I remain in this heaven I dream, I dream of everything that I would love from my master and I give him a glance that signals my desire to speak to him; “What boy?”

“Sir, I know that I dont deserve even to ask this but Sir is there any chance that I could have your piss? I want to feel your warmth, I want to taste that which is so intimate to you. I want to bathe in something of you that is so beautiful. Please sir?”

“How badly do you want it boy?”

“Oh Sir.” I am not sure that my master would ever understand how humbled I feel when I taste his urine. To some this may seem dirty to me it is as though some inner part of him that no-one else has, he has given to me. “Sir, please sir, I would do anything. I know that I sound pathetic Sir but your urine is heavenly to me. I would be so grateful master.”

With that he lets me head go and I am face to face with his cock. A warm golden stream comes out of his cock, it hits my face and I feel as if I could cum there and then. I open my mouth and his golden juice rushes inside of me, my body craves it like it would crave alcohol. I feel so honoured. So humbled. So unworthy.

After the piss stops I get to work on his cock. My master has given me his urine, I didnt deserve that and now I focus on pleasing him. I manipulate his cock, his glands and he moans with other pleasure. I suck his cock, I lick his balls, I lick the head of his cock and take him in deep, to the shaft. I want to please this man. I feel his body start to pulsate as if the damn was about to burst and I work harder, his cock is more sensitive and he lets out moans of pleasure. I am pleasing my master, I could cum myself. All of a sudden his body twists and turns in pleasure and his hot, sticky, creamy cum hits the back of my throat. I want it. I want it all and wait for it all to come out, not missing a drop. I then lick his cock ensuring that I have every last bit, that I taste him.

My Master sits down looking content. I am feeling content. I know that my place is never to reach orgasm, my place is never to cum. I don’t deserve that. My role is to please my master in whatever way he desired and, with that knowledge I am so happy.

I love this fantasy, but is it just a fantasy?