Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category

The End.

April 18, 2007

Like many others I have chosen to end my blog. I have really enjoyed writing it and lets just say that as I have been writing it it has provided much mental stimulation that has aided my physical stimulation. This blog has not only helped me to explore my sexuality, but also become happy with it and I am. It has served it’s purpose.

Thank you to everyone who has contributed. I wish you all well.

Boys, Girls or both?

December 31, 2006

This whole sexuality thing is, to be quite honest, damn hard work! I have spent Christmas with friends in pubs and generally socialising. Of course, over the Christmas and New Year period the alcohol intake is high but, it seems, so is the sex drive. I dont know, something just happens. Blokes want girls and girls want blokes, it seems like anyone would possibly have anyone over this festive period. Perhaps it is a longing, from those who dont have anyone, well, to have someone, if only for a brief moment in time.

Anyway I have heard male friends state ‘I’d do her’, ‘I am going to do her’ or ‘She is an angel’. I have heard the same from women (although, obviously not the angel comment!) as they refer to guys. I have found myself struggling so much. I have seen angels over the Christmas period, beautiful, petite, shining, smiling and my thoughts have erred along the lines of wanting a girl just a touch, just a taste, someone beautiful to hold and to call my own. However, I have also seen some blokes, some pretty hot blokes. These blokes that I have seen are not angels, they are warriors, they are strong, they are rugged, there are quite literally amazing and I have wanted them too. Just a bloke to hold, to have, to share my dreams with, my life with, a guy to share my goals with. And there the confusion remains, boys, girls or both?

As we stumble into 2007 this year holds a few questions for me:

1) Do I ‘come out’ as bisexual?

Concerns: How will this affect family and friends? Will my family shun me? My mates, I have some great mates, all gym guys and all make comments about ‘gays’ about ‘homos’. What would they say? Would they be supportive? I don’t know.

2) If I do ‘come out’ as being bisexual what if I change my mind?

Concern: I could have a relationship witha guy and then realise that this is not what I want at all. If I do this I would be labelled as bisexual anyway. Do I just need to find a guy to have a relationship with and see what happens? Do I need to declare myself as bisexual before experiencing a proper relationship with a guy?

3) What if this is the worst year ever?

Concern: I am worried that this could be the worst year ever because of my need / want and desire to have a ‘normal’ life as a bisexual guy, or at least as a guy who has a fluid sexuality.

See. Confused is what I am.

I have no idea what this year will hold in store.

Happy New Year readers and friends.